Review – Machete Kills


18 October 2013, Singapore – Machete Kills is the latest movie from one-man-band filmmaker Robert Rodriguez, who is the director, cinematographer, co-editor and co-composer. Rodriguez came on strong in the early ’90s, but ever since Sin City, it seems he’s lost all ambition, and is perfectly happy resorting to B-movie junk.


So why is this movie so bad.

1) Too much BAD CGI. Yes, there’s difference between LOTR CGI and crap like the ones you see in this movie

2) Action sequence so far fetched you will go “dafug just happened?!”

3) The mediocre plot and screenplay gives you a headache 3 hours after the movie is over

4) The poorly rendered blood spurts makes you wants to throw popcorn at the peron in front of you

5) The movie is way too amateurish and should have stayed a short trailer screened 6 years ago

7) So campy and outrageous, the movie reminds me of a drag show rehearsal without costumes or make-up on

8) How dare you kill Jessica Alba off in the first 10 minutes!?

9) 107-minute running length? Are you kidding me? This movie should be just 10mins long

10)”Machete Kills” looks so cheap it’ll remove any remote enjoyment of the movie

 A pointless and tasteless movie with a star studded cast.



Danny Trejo- Machete
Mel Gibson- Voz
Demian Bechir- Mendez
Amber Heard- Miss San Antonio
Michelle Rodriguez- Luz
Sofia Vergara- Desdemona
Carlos Estevez- President Rathcock
Lady Gaga- La Camaleon
Anatonio Banderas- El Camaleon 4
Walt Goggins- El Camaleon 1
Cuba Gooding, Jr.- El Camaleon 2
Vanessa Hudgens- Cereza
Alexa Vega- Killjoy
Marko Zaror- Zaror
Tom Savini- Osiris Amanapur
William Sadler- Sheriff Doakes

Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Screenplay by Kyle Ward, based on a story by Robert Rodriguez and Marcel Rodriguez


The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.

Leave a Reply